An Ear By Any Other Name . . .

I was in Atlanta this week for work – three days with four hour meetings and then networking events. It was delightful for me as an introvert, as I am sure you can well imagine.

I may have gotten bored during one or two – okay, three – moments, and I decided it was an ideal time to look very involved while actually practicing my attention to detail skills. So I went around the room and wrote down a one to three line description of everyone’s ears. And for the first time, I actually understand that Monk episode where he says he can identify the bad guy by his ear. Did you know every ear is unique? Some of them you have to study hard to figure out why it is unique, but there are an amazing variety of ears out there, people.

I am sure you are sitting there, imagining me, during a meeting, staring studiously at someone’s ear. And yeah, that’s basically what happened. But I did try to wait until someone at least in that general direction was speaking so it could, at a cursory glance, appear as though I were watching the speaker.

Are you curious about the outcome of my experiment? I hope so because I’m about to post them below, word for word on what I jotted down! So if it isn’t polished sounding – that is because it isn’t. Also, I got better as time went on. It is surprisingly difficult to describe what an ear looks like.

1. Almost elf-like ears, sticking out from the head just enough to distract. Bit of a curve as it attaches the lobe to the cheek/neck (what is that area called?)
2. Giant ears, especially for a rather thin face that one envisions perhaps sickly, but mostly sulky, as a child.
3. Ears that looked as though they could flap and maybe fly once given the chance.
4. Appropriately flat against the head, and the part that might be unattractive covered by distinguished white hair. A bit on the long side, but that rather matched his somewhat elongated face.
5. Tips of otherwise quite appropriate ears curled over just slightly in an attempt to distinguish themselves from an otherwise blase face.
6. Hair concealed the ears, making one wonder just what she was hiding. Large, small, pointed, round? Something to detract from an otherwise dainty visage, other than the nose?
7. Ears that rather matched the whole of his face – a bit broad and fleshy and definitely loath to smile.
8. Rather reminded one of a curving path, with multiple venues from which to choose. The irregular lines could perhaps be a maze rather than a path.
9. So flat that the curve along the inside of the ear peeked out like an irreverent schoolboy in a church pew.
10. Almost kindly, when looked at alone, but become absurd once compared with the triangular face and broad side of the cheek.
11. Almost inflamed, but actually just lots of tissue. The wrinkles on the lobes strangely matched the wrinkles across the forehead.
12. A wealth of hair covered all but the rather large lobe, which stuck out underneath as it desperate to breathe.
13. A significant indent did its best to separate the lobe from the rest of the ear, rather unreasonably as the only significance was in the ear itself, shaped more or less like a cup.
14. Top of the ear curled gracefully into the ear itself as if curtsying. Following the curve of the rest of the ear led to rather unremarkable features and a broad, flat, lobe.
15. Unremarkable if it wasn’t for the large inner ear that looked like a basin lined with a lip to keep from falling in.