An amazing and unprecedented thing happened to me day before yesterday. I woke up, and, later in the day, my mind naturally turned to writing. As you all know, I have had lots of angst around it in the last several months, and trying to “get the spark and passion back” etc. But, as I thought about making time that night to write, my mind didn’t instantly turn anxious. Instead I felt this immense calm and a measured certainty that when I picked up my pen or my laptop, I could put out anything I wanted. It was an amazing calm, something haven’t experienced in a long while. And sure enough, when I picked up my laptop later, I just – started writing. granted, I wrote only a paragraph of a short story – but it wasn’t for lack of inspiration – just for lack of time. And since then, I have felt an unquenchable thirst to write. Of course, life being life, I haven’t had much – but I am marveling at the very fact that I feel like I CAN write again. I have some internal fear of course that the more I think about it – and even giving expression to it here – will make everything dry up again – but – I am determined to keep the calm while it lasts. And that quote keeps coming to mind – the one that says if you question everything you write, you will never get better because you won’t practice? I forget where I read it. But – it feels good to be able to pick up a pen – and just write.
Forest Idylls 