Inner Peace

God is faithful. Did you know that?

A week after I hand it all over, and I get a check in the mail for an accepted submission! A submission that I sent two years ago. TWO YEARS, people. Granted, the check was for only $20 and the submission was a 250 word devotional–but that really doesn’t matter. Because what does matter is that God decided that this week, of all weeks, He would make sure I knew that He was still watching. Because in order for that check and acceptance letter to get here yesterday, it was probably mailed around the same time I was writing to you all about accepting unknown futures.

I think one of the best things about freedom is – well – the freedom. Surprise, surprise, right? But seriously. Did you know I have a “base list”? Basically, a list of all the writing-related things I would ideally like to get done in a week, including which ones are daily, which are weekly, which are 2 times a week, etc. I also, because I’m me, have an excel spreadsheet with where I want to be in a year broken down by weekly goals, and a task list that I update every week based on that excel sheet. Now, I was constantly getting behind on the weekly task list, and therefore the yearly one, not to mention it being nearly impossible to accomplish the daily/weekly base list that I have in my planner, so typically, I would get started on a workday, become frustrated at how I couldn’t fit everything in, and tell myself over and over what a failure I was for not getting up early enough and working hard enough to accomplish everything.

But, with the mindset of freedom and focus on people and the journey instead of goals, guess what I have learned I can do? Well, something that I’m sure all of you far more reasonable and knowledgeable people already knew. I might have written that I want to work on my current draft for two hours…but if I have a late start, ten minutes is still going to get me further than crossing it off entirely. And I didn’t accomplish that daily thing on my weekly task list? Guess what? Tomorrow is still going to come, and I am still going to be alive, and it is okay. So I am not able to do pushups again by the end of the year. Somehow, I don’t think anyone but me might care.

Yup, that’s right – I have learned I can take my ideal list and be okay with not dedicating the full amount of time to it I originally scheduled, or even pushing it off until a day when I am not working on other things. Because how can I be a blessing to other people when I am so stressed and focused on accomplishing goals that may or may not matter that I push people away so I can do them “on schedule”?

And yes, I know I’ve said before that any amount of time dedicated to a goal is better than nothing, and I believed it then and I believe it now. So what’s the difference? Well, the difference is that I don’t berate myself when I don’t accomplish the original timetable I set out, and, even inside, I feel at peace with taking that 30 minutes I was supposed to be reading about writing techniques and reducing it to ten. The difference is inside. And that really does make all the difference, doesn’t it?