I haven’t written in awhile I know – I have been surprisingly busy – or too tired. One or the other. I took a work trip to Phoenix, which was just lovely. The only down side, of course, was that my husband wasn’t with me. Around that time, my progress in CampNaNo began collapsing and I barely have written a word since. Until today. Today I have my computer up at work and am interspersing 5 minute writing bouts with real work (and this blog entry – shh, don’t tell my bosses! :P) But really, I work better when I get some of my creative juices out – otherwise I tend toward random daydreaming bouts.
To tell the truth, I’ve also just been too depressed to write. Both bookwise and blogwise. The current politics and morals (or lack thereof) swirling about the nation and facebook have been weighing me down like . . . like a sandbag filled with water. I can hardly believe how quickly the nation has gone from respecting the freedoms of others, from family values, from a good moral stance, to utter chaos. From homosexuality to women posting naked pictures of themselves to make some type of political point to all the attacks our president refuses to do anything about to the violent protests outside of presidential rallies to the undeniable escalating racial tensions.
In addition to all of the chaos in the nation, I notice more and more the deteriorating moral state of friends I used to have from college. I see people I never would have thought of as liberal posting in favor of moral standards that are strictly against Biblical principals. Or posting inappropriate pictures. Or straying further and further from God in various ways and seemingly thinking nothing of it. It is – just depressing.
I’ve been having a very hard time over it and finally yesterday I cried out to God for peace – I just didn’t know how much longer I could handle it. My heart was so heavy. I’m not saying I got instant peace – but – God did speak to me. He reminded me that He, too, looks down and sees everything going on and that, if it makes me sad, it makes Him sad tenfold. That if I feel like shedding tears over sudden lack of any morals or standards in our communities, then He has filled an ocean with his sorrow. And He reminded me that my job is to continue to be a light to those around me. Not to take the burdens on myself, but to acknowledge they are there – to pray about them – to hand them to Him, and to continue to stand up for what I know is right, no matter what those around me do. That if someday I am persecuted for standing up for my religious beliefs in this country that supposedly allows religious differences, that He will still see me and support me. That it is no worse than many of His disciples went through for standing up for what was right in a world that was wrong.
So, although I am still immensely saddened by all that I see on social media, in the news, and even walking down the street, I am seeking to consistently pull God’s peace over me, to pass it to Him in prayer, and to be a light in the darkness, living in the moment that God has given me instead of fear for the future.