Childhood

Everyone has an ideal childhood in their imaginations. Does anyone in real life? Sometimes I wonder how many people are hiding things from their past. From their childhood. I know there is this new trend where people blame all their problems on childhood. My parents always warned me not to fall for that trap. If you had a problem it was something you needed to take care of without trying to find someone or something else to blame it on. I agree with them, in one way – but sometimes I think that this new “trend” is accurate in some ways. One’s childhood – one’s past – does affect one’s current life. Sometimes it is based on decisions made by the individual himself, sometimes decisions made by his parents.

I still fear some things, still shudder when I hear certain sounds, still love certain scenes because of things from my past. I make decisions today based on my experiences from the past. Either good or bad. Who I am, who I have become today, is influenced directly by my childhood, my experiences, my memories associated with it. I love tea because I associate it with friends, relaxation in a busy time, and the books that kept me company in the woods when I lived with my dreams. I panic when I watch psychological movies (a.k.a. A Beautiful Mind) because I’ve seen my father go through hallucinations in real life, and it was frightening. I became interested in government because of stories about homeschoolers becoming persecuted–homeschoolers like me. I hate working in healthcare because I’ve worked in it for years with a disabled father and needing to make money for my family. Who you become is directly influenced by your past. Problems you need to work through are often associated with childhood for a reason.

That being said, that doesn’t mean that problems should be blamed on your parents, or past events, and then left to rest  on someone else’s shoulders. It doesn’t mean that you should become angry or bitter or decide nothing can be done because of it. No matter what a memory, a problem, anything, stems from, it becomes yours to deal with or not deal with. If you choose to become bitter over something, God in the end will ask you about it, not the event over which you became bitter, because you decided not to do anything about it. We have a God who has offered, actually volunteered, to take on our problems, our bad memories, our bitterness. Whether or not we take Him up on that offer is up to us.

So in the end, we can’t blame things on the past or on a bad childhood – because no matter where it stemmed from, it is our choice whether or not it is dealt with now.